In a recent article published in the October JAMA Network Open, compared to a year ago alcohol consumption in United States increased 14%, including 17% for women. Many bars are closed for the most part but it’s important to remember isolation causes addictions to flourish. Without distractions our brightest but also our darkest instincts tend to surface. Chronic stress will trigger the brain to express its deepest unconscious material. A wise soul accepts challenges and addresses their illusions, while others act out and wonder why they struggle. This article will address self-care and offer five suggestions designed to meet your needs in order to become a more effective person and/or leader.
Loyalty to oneself is the cornerstone of understanding our divine nature. The fierceness to which we listen to our needs, comfort ourselves when we are distraught, and follow through with our core needs is the degree we love ourselves. Meeting our core needs ought to be the highest priority in our life since we are an eternal soul having a human experience. If the most beloved person on the planet asked you to do a favor, would you do it? If God appeared to you in all his/her glory, would you do what was asked? The real question becomes…are we willing to do ourselves any favors?
If we want something, we should go get it. Many people put others before themselves claiming love is their motivation. There is a problem with this idea because they are spiritual being creating their experience. However, we need to meet our needs first before moving onto others. We need to give from joy and generosity comes from a full heart. Giving to others when it goes against our own needs means we must abandon our self to give to others. Rescuing another, dishonors their opportunity to self-nurture, if they fail to meet their own needs.
First and foremost, love needs to have a home in our hearts. When we truly love our self and love resides inside our home, a wonderful transformation occurs. This transformation reminds our physical body of its divine origins and helps us embody love. Remembering our worthiness enables us to realize we are lovable. When we accept this truth beyond a shadow of a doubt, then the belief we deserve to have our needs met starts to makes sense. The courage to fight for our needs follows because it feels natural. This is how dreams manifest. Soon, respecting other’s rights and the environment around us becomes normal.
Today, some people refuse to social distance or wear a mask during this pandemic. Unfortunately, self-care has become a political statement. They claim risking their and their neighbor’s health is their first amendment right. Unfortunately, they forget that the universe is only interested in the highest good for everyone. The social distancing/mask debate can be boiled down to policies designed to benefit the collective versus self-centered and/or destructive individuals.
Everyone has needs-based on fear and unconscious belief systems designed to prevent fear. An unexamined intellect will create mental constructs that know fear and were created from fear. Immature aspects of our personality try to solve problems and have good intentions, but often lack the wisdom of our heart and soul’s guidance. This lack of participation of our heart and soul’s participation leads to suffering if unchecked and unexamined. Problems occur if our frightened or stubborn inner child grabs the microphone and leads the band.
Unconscious aspects of our personality were created to protect wounded inner children. Often immature and shortsighted, fear-based protection solutions exist without supervision by our heart and soul. Unfortunately, they are frequently out of balance with others and the global community. Our unconscious motivations can and will harm others. We see this during our country’s disjointed pandemic response, which is spiraling up in the wrong direction. There are three challenges laid before each and every one of us during this pandemic as we collectively struggle with establishing safe solutions:
- Can we surrender to divine wisdom, which always supports the highest good for everyone involved?
- Will I consult with my heart and soul and treat others as I would myself, which some call The Golden Rule?
- Do I possess the courage to examine and confront my illusions if I fail to do so?
Narcissism and exploitation stem from those who fail to self-examine or explore their deeper motivations. When we are cut off from our self, it’s easy to cut off others. The desire to uncover the truth of our unconscious material, which was created to protect wounded inner children, is the stuff of legends. Mythological tales that speak of heroes and heroines slaying nasty dragons are really speaking metaphorically of the courage to seek and slay our unconscious illusions, which remain unconnected to our heart and soul. These fables do not promote slaying in a real sense but suggest we confront, love and possess a passion to embody our internal personal truth.
The enlightened path requires a true desire to love oneself without conditions. Embodying the love that originates from our heart and soul is the next challenge. If we surrender to our soul’s agenda and express the joy of our soul’s expression, many good things happen. When we live at this level, we send out a frequency to the universe, which will reach the other side of the veil. Through the mirroring principles within quantum physics, the law of attraction and karma (cause and effect) our efforts to embody love for the highest good of all are often reflected back to us…sometimes stronger.
The universe also mirrors love to those who embody The Golden Rule. This helps generous souls give more love to themselves and others. People tend to love them more because those that pay love forward are truly present in their joy. Becoming a shining example of living a joyful life draws people to you…like ants to a picnic. When we know how to nurture ourselves, we will always have an unlimited source of food. Everyone needs food but also love, so they will want to learn from our success.
When we pay love forward our self-esteem rises and then more positives happen. We become more generous with our giving because it is our joy to pass love on. When we give at this level, everyone loves us more and the process accelerates in a positive spiral. Give from this place and everyone benefits because other people will want to emulate us. If we give while depleting our self, people will take what we give but will not be inspired to copy us. These individuals frequently fall into patterns of seeking what they need outside themselves or continue a long cycle of using others. Patterns of quick fixes and addictions can result. These dysfunctional behaviors are an attempt to use other’s love and energy and ignore their own ability to connect to their own energy within their heart and soul. The soul will never let this happen and the cycles of pain, struggle and strife come in to help them learn another way.
This article offers a gentle reminder to…love yourself, love your heart and listen to your soul. Recognize your needs and address them regularly. Remember your divine home and your absolute birthright of happiness, joy and fulfillment. When we live through our heart and soul, we will never stray from our path home.
If your mind is disconnected from your heart and soul, self-responsibility is required to examine all of your unconscious parts with love. Pain, struggle and obstacles to your dreams will come and suggest another way by staying around until we learn to live from our heart and soul. Perhaps this is the collective lesson United States is struggling to learn. The universe always provides reflections of whatever truth is present through its loving mirrors.
Here are five suggestions to meet your needs in order to become a more effective leader or person.
- Give from your heart.
- Listen to your heart and do what it wants to do from joy, passion and love.
- Healthy forms of love require a total alignment with your truth and then fierceness. Be relentless in your expression. Hold the awareness in your heart and mind to constantly look for opportunities to meet your needs and express your truth.
- And of course, remember to do so in a loving manner. Be gentle, kind and ruthless in your kindness as you give to others.
- However, never lose sight of your needs, while doing the four previous suggestions. The fierceness to which you honor your needs will automatically spill over to a compassionate understanding of other’s needs.
November 2020 Eric Ehrke LCSW, LMFT is a psychotherapist at Ommani. He sees clients on Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays. Zoom, Skype, or telephonic services are offered. Call our office at 262.695.5311 to schedule an appointment.